


Burning prideful Wraith

by YouCannotSeeWhatIsNotThere



Series: Prideful Wraith [1]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Experimentation, Friendship, Mind Reading, Post-Series, Starving Todd, Whump, Wraith Feeding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-29
Updated: 2016-05-04
Packaged: 2018-06-05 07:15:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6694762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YouCannotSeeWhatIsNotThere/pseuds/YouCannotSeeWhatIsNotThere
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Once upon a time the Ancients tried to find a way to hack into the minds of the wraith they fought. Now the team has stumbled upon the machine build for that. And what do they do? They test it on Todd... Set after Season 5 when Atlantis is on earth and the IOA is getting interested in Todd's potential as lab rat. Now continued because I can't just let Todd's fate be unclear :D</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is set after the 5th season, maybe between it and the Legacy books.  
> Chapter 1 might still contain some grammar errors, 2 and 3 are beta edited.

„Funny how we've been on her for years, yet Atlantis still holds so much we don't know about," John said, looking around the ancient laboratory they had just discovered. The city was still on Earth, idly drifting in the waters before San Francisco, and now that procuring resources didn't require using tons of energy on the Stargate anymore they were finally trying to fix all of her. And that meant they were exploring even the very outer edges of he city that they had originally taken off the to-be-fixed-list in order to bring the more vital pieces online that assured their survival in Pegasus.

And as it was one of the flood damaged corridors deep down had this little yet heavily secured lab hidden at its end. It wasn't mentioned in the city's data base and yet it had obviously been important, seeing as it had been build like a little stronghold or the maximum-security wing of a prison. Looking at the table in the middle of the room John was pretty sure it might have been some sort of prison very well. The question was whether the restriction devices connected to it were made to keep men or only something men-shaped down on the gleaming, stainless surface. Rodney seemed to have found an answer to that question.

"It seems like they were experimenting on Wraith," he said, his eyes moving fast as he quickly read through what he had gotten from the computer. The thing wasn't connected to the general network of the city, as was nothing in the lab. Arrogant they may have been, but at least the Ancients had learned to take the Wraith seriously.

"And what exactly did they do?" Sheppard vaguely wondered if the answer might make him pity the poor bastard they had caught and strapped to that table. Dealing with Todd made him think too much about such things. Especially now that the IOA was considering shipping the Wraith off to do some "tests" on him and John was wondering if those "tests" would involve tying the alien down on operation tables similar to the one he was facing now. He hated to admit to himself that he cared and that he would not like it, would probably even try to stop it with all means possible. Because Todd might deserve many things, such as an occasional punch to his smug face, but not _that_.

"It seems like they wanted to get into their heads," McKay explained, sounding quite curious, which John knew meant the scientist was intrigued by the project and already tried fixing it up in his quick working mind. "Wraith are telepathic, they are always somehow connected to each other. It's like even though they are individuals there is also some kind of... swarm intelligence, in lack of better wording." He tapped a screen. "It says they are even connected to their hives and I mean not only the crew but the actual _ship_. And that is what the Ancients wanted to make use of. They basically tried to build some sort of Wraith-radar, using a Wraith. The best outcome they were hoping for was not only to be able to pinpoint the hives but to get into that collective intelligence and spy on then, gathering their attack plans and strategies."

"I guess it did not work," John stated dryly.

"Actually, it did." McKay sounded as confused as Sheppard felt upon that news.

"But surely the war would have gone much better for the ancients and they would have mentioned their best weapon somewhere if that was true?"

"Well, it says the machine worked just fine, something else must have gone wrong."

"Maybe the Wraith they had broke out." John looked at the walls around them. It should be impossible but he wouldn't put it past the Wraith to manage an escape after all.

"Or it staved to death," Ronon added in his two cents, sounding like he would rather like watching a Wraith do so.

"Or that," John said with a contemplating shrug, trying to mask that this once again reminded him of the problem of how to deal with their Wraith capture. They had landed on Earth a good month and a half ago and still no one knew the exact amount of time a Wraith could go without feeding. Todd wasn't inclined to tell them it seemed, neither when he had last fed nor how long until he needed to do so again. Maybe they would never find out when Todd would start to get hungry because the IOA dissected him before that or-. He stopped the thought.

"We have a Wraith here to find out," he slowly said and McKay looked up from his screen.

"You mean we test it on _Todd_?" the scientist asked, sounding both intrigued and not sure if that was a good idea.

"Yeah. Maybe he'll even cooperate." A plan started to form in his head.

"What makes you think he'd do so?" Ronon looked sceptic, justly so.

"We could tell him that if he works on this with us then it'll keep him on Atlantis and out of the IOA's hands."

Ronon grumbled in a way that told everybody he couldn't be bothered with the Wraith' fate, Rodney looked thoughtful. "It won't work for long, sooner or later they'll come get him anyway," the Canadian said.

"Yeah but maybe in that short time we can buy him something changes. It's worth the shot, I guess, because what does he have to lose?"

"I'm only in to see if that thing fries his brain," stated the ex hunter and pointed at the machine.

"Fine with me," Sheppard shrugged. "Rodney?"

"I'll first have to check this thing to see if there is any water damage or if I find something else that's not as it should be. But I'll probably be done when you come back from telling the IOA they can't have their lab rat for another while."

"You can take your time Rodney, we all know you're brilliant enough to fix it real quick but there's no need to hurry." We're trying to _buy_ time, after all, not save it, Sheppard though as he watched a sufficiently flattered Rodney go back to working on the interfaces, muttering approval of Sheppard's comment without catching the sarcasm or the friendly eye-rolling that followed.

It took long until the IOA stopped bitching. Really long. But Sheppard didn't mind them wasting time trying to override his argument of how being able to hack into the Wraith-mind-network would befit them greatly in future dealings with that race. While they were talking maybe some emergency in Pegasus could occur that demanded for the city's immediate return and John was burning to bring her back there, where she and her crew belonged by now. And if they could keep their Wraith alley that would be quite the bonus.

He walked through the corridors, looking at all the teams of scientists that were already itching to take apart what they were only allowed to look at now, waiting to be allowed to strip the city bare of all it had to offer while their associated governments fought about who could keep what findings. It disgusted him. But for now the only problem he could somewhat attempt to solve was Todd and the IOA's quest for shipping him off. For the rest they would probably have to rely on Woolsey, which left a bitter taste in his mouth even though he had come to somewhat respect the man by now, and maybe O'Neill and a few others.

So he strode into the holding cell, mood somewhat sour from his contemplating. Todd seemed to catch on to that, cocking his head to the side and raising a hairless brow ridge. "Why come here to see me, John Sheppard, if it puts you in such a bad mood?" he drawled.

"For once it's not you I'm pissed off at." John languidly bounced his feet, rolling his weight from his heels to the balls of them and back again, while he tried to seem careless as he thought about how to get Todd to consent to the mind read thingy. "Actually I even have a proposition that might do you some good."

"And what proposition might that be?" Todd didn't seem to appreciate him taking his time.

"You see, we found this funny little machine that is supposed to read a Wraith' mind." John raised an eyebrow at how Todd perked up at, congratulating himself to getting the green bastard's attention. "If you were willing to let us test it on you we can keep you here on Atlantis for a while longer, which might give us the time to think up a proper plot to keep the IOA from carting you off and cutting you into pieces until they are happy with their findings and have a brand new collection of creepy preserving jaws." He wasn't completely sure Todd knew what preserving jaws were but judging from the way he clenched his teeth the alien could guess.

Finally Todd unclenched the pointy things and exhaled one controlled breath. "So you want to create an artificial hive-sense?"

"Yeah, I think that's what you can call this." Todd's name for the thing was probably the correct term but John liked naming things so he wouldn't call it that until he decided he couldn't come up with something more catchy.

Todd just nodded once. "Very well," he said.

The scientists in the corridors stared blatantly, gaping at that life form they had never seen before and wouldn't see again if John had any say in it. As much for Todd's protection (oh that thought sounded so very weird the moment John thought it) as for their own. No one should see more of the Wraith than necessary.

Todd for his part held his head high, stalking the place like he owned it and the marines there to keep him under control where nothing but a guard of honour. Occasionally he would grin at those people for whom fear didn't follow immediately after surprise and wonder, scaring the shit out of them after all because a grinning Wraith looked more predatory and dangerous than a hissing and threatening one. But John knew he wasn't just having fun. The Wraith was testing them, trying to get a bit of a glimpse on what Earth-humans were made of. The colonel wondered if they could later read Todd's assessment from his mind, then sighed and herded them along a little faster.

They reached the room where Rodney was surveying all systems. The IOA had taken almost a week to decide on this, he had had plenty of time to get everything ready and so there was no last minute tinkering. Todd looked around as curious as he would ever allow them to see him, following into the lab without problem, but balked when they came to a stop in front of the table.

"Must I be confined to this?" he asked, sounding quite unhappy.

"Yes," said Ronon, who was in the corner, arms crossed in front of his chest as he glared at one of his least favourite species. John however looked questioningly at McKay. He wasn't in the mood to have a fight and force the Wraith when they could do it much easier.

"Uh," the scientist said, obviously not prepared for a question like that. "Well, I don't know if this machine will make you trash around or something..."

"I will not trash." It was a statement.

"You don't know that."

Todd just looked at him and McKay involuntarily ducked his head a little.

"Fine, but if you do after all we'll shoot you." Admittedly, what John raised to underline that statement was only a stunner, but still. The Wraith made an acknowledging sound then went to sit on the table. He did not lie down but placed his hands on his thighs. John wondered if even though he still looked like he owned the place he was panicking underneath. He so couldn't wait to get a better look into what made their stoic somewhat-ally tick.

He watched as McKay came over to disconnect a weird not-quite-helmet from the table, muttering about stupid Wraith being extra difficult until he realised that even when he was doing so under his breath everyone present could still hear him, most of all Todd. The Wraith bared teeth at him and hissed. "I very much doubt that you would like it if I were the one attempting to strap _you_ down like this."

"And I doubt you wouldn't be annoyed if I refused."

Todd huffed half a laugh, then reluctantly bowed his head so McKay could put the mind read helmet on him. While John tried to suppress a chuckle at how ridiculous it looked, so as not to further agitate their more or less willing subject, he again noticed that Todd seemed oddly curious. The Wraith was cocking his head from side to side, testing how the construction sat on his head.

"So, who wants to be first?" McKay asked, hand patting the back of the chair that was build facing the table. It looked a little like a very watered down version of the cities main control chair. Go figure, the Ancients wouldn't wear stupid helmets but use their normal neural interface tecknology.

"I'm the chair guy!" Sheppard raised his hand. Of all the people in the room he indeed had the most experience with ancient chairs. No one protested and so he took his place. "Well, let's go!" And he leaned back.

For a moment there was nothing. Then he was burning alive.

There was no other way to describe that agony. All his senses and thinking vanished in that sudden pain and he trashed, trying to get away from it, all his reflexes screaming at him to end this. There were beacons flashing through this pain that clouded everything, cool little points of something bright that would sooth his torment even though he had no idea why and why he was unable to reach for them. He could not do anything in here, all he cold do was wither in this heat and the sharp bites of the flames eating away at his insides. He could not listen to any words spoken around him, some echoing like they were coming from this hell, some distant like they came from outside. Pictures blurred around him but the invisible flames that hurt him so much distorted them and he couldn't really be brought to care. All that his thoughts, conscious as unconscious, screamed at him was to get out of here or catch those beacons at the edge of this purgatory because they would sooth this all.

McKay frantically hacked away at his laptop, eyes moving fast as he read the data it spit at him. "This can't be, the machine is working perfectly fine!"

"It obviously isn't!" Ronon had abandoned his corner, holding the twitching and screaming Sheppard by the shoulders, trying to wake him out of the chair-trance. He'd just pull him off the chair but McKay had yelled at him not to do that, a sudden, involuntary disconnection would do more harm than good. So he kept trying to wake the man from the trance because he was not sure he could bear seeing him like this much longer before pulling him off the chair after all. Another thought came to him and he turned, aiming his pistol at the still calm Wraith. "What the hell are you doing to him?!"

"Nothing," Todd said, almost too quietly to be heard above Sheppard's screams.

"The hell you aren't!" Ronon hissed.

"Ronon stop, it's not him, the machine doesn't allow for him to do something! Neither is it reading any attempts at defiance from him!" McKay's voice was high pitched.

"That's because it's broken, now shut the thing down before it kills Sheppard!"

"But it's not broken, it works fine, I don't know what's wrong!"

"Doesn't matter, shut it down!"

"I can't!" McKay yelled. He looked pale and panicked and Ronon knew he was doing his best as he typed commands so quickly his fingers almost blurred to the eye.

"Are the Lanteans too arrogant to build fail safes?" Todd asked, though he didn't sound as amused as they would have expected him to. He was starring at Sheppard with an unreadable expression.

"No, you can't just pull someone from this trance by force, they have to stop it themselves!"

The Wraith gave no answer. He just closed his eyes, gripped the edges of the table hard enough to leave indentions in the steel and inhaled once before clenching his jaw so firmly that they could see the muscles strain. His knuckles turned white, the table groaned.

"Now he's doing something!" McKay exclaimed, looking up from his readings and glaring at Todd until he realised John had stopped screaming and fell limp.

"I suggest you wake Sheppard now, this machine was build to drill into the minds of the not cooperating and it is very good at that!" Todd ground out from between his teeth. "My defences will not hold much longer."

"Come on Sheppard!" Ronon slightly slapped the man's cheek trice and Sheppard lurched forward, breathing in fast, shallow drafts of air. The chair disconnected and there was another creak of metal as the Wraith relaxed and let go of the table. Ronon didn't care much about that, the marines would shoot the damn thing if it moved wrong. The men lining the wall were shocked but alert. He focused on making sure sure his friend was okay.

Still gaping for breath, for cool air, John slowly sat up. "What," he rasped, fixing his gaze on the once again unperturbed Wraith, "was _that_?!"

Todd regarded him in a way that said he was not impressed. "As I told you before, John Sheppard: For Wraith, hunger burns like fire."

John adamantly shook his head, sweat soaked hair swinging. "No way, you're tricking us in hopes of getting fed, there's no way you could so calmly sit there when feeling like _that_!"

"Yes I can. Like every Wraith can and would. Because that is what makes us Wraith." Todd looked down, turning his feeding hand over to regard the mouth in its palm. "If we caved to hunger and lived only by the instinct to feed we would be nothing more than animals, only barely better than rabid dogs. But we are not animals and will never be. It is that refusal that left us victorious over the Lanteans. They did not think their laboratory pets had the pride and control to pull through, yet we had and seeing what we could do if we just did not give it up is what drove the lesson home permanently.

"And that is why you can starve us into delirium or until we lose consciousness but you will never see a Wraith writhe on the floor in hunger pain, or heedlessly attack whatever moves next around them." He straightened his back and lifted his chin, looking at them with all the defiance of his thousands of years old life. "We endure silently until we are silenced. No matter where or how, a Wraith dies as a Wraith and never as anything less."

It was probably the most Todd had ever spoken to them in one go and they stared at him in silence as the words sunk in. Rodney looked like he didn't know what to say or think. John refused to admit that Todd had been right when he claimed that Kolya tortured them both way back in that cell, refused to let some sympathy for the Wraith creep into his system. Ronon finally shrugged and broke the silence with a "Fine with me, don't care about the how as long _as_ you die."

Todd actually huffed a bitter laugh at that. "Your IOA will see to that soon enough, runner, for I am sure they will not be happy to see you have no different results than the Lanteans back then."

"Yeah," McKay crossed his arms as he stared at the machine's screens, "the reason this project was scrapped is not a malfunction of the machine but probably because they too couldn't bear being in your head with the hunger and- Wait! You sound like you know more than we do!" he then yelled, pointing an accusing finger at the alien.

Todd stared at McKay's pointed finger until the man hastily pulled his hand back to his body, probably thinking Todd might do something as ridiculous as jump at him and bite the offending digit off. "I was born during the war, I grew up with this story."

"This _story_?"

"Yes, the happenings around this machine make a good story to tell young Wraith born into battle."

"And that story _is_?" John asked, finding himself somewhat curious. He never thought about if Wraith had stories to tell their young, if they would sit and tell tales like humans would sit and tell tales. He only knew how drones were made and those certainly didn't get bedtime stories.

Todd just silently regarded them for a moment and they had a feeling he was deciding whether they were worthy him telling them stories. But it didn't feel like he was judging them for being humans. Did Wraith have to proof themselves worthy of the elders' wisdom? Was this something of the likes? Whatever it was, Todd seemed to deem them worthy enough because he shifted position a little and started to speak.

"Once during the great war the Lanteans decided to build a machine to give them the ability to intrude upon our collective mind, to spy on the souls and minds of the Hives in orbit over their precious city. They hoped to be able to see our moves before we made them, hoped that they could turn our greatest strength into our biggest weakness. So they caught one of our brethren alive. Heavily wounded and weary from war as he was they brought him to Atlantis and while his wounds healed they strapped him to the machine. And then those who considered themselves able to do anything and everything discovered that there was one thing they could not do: bear the hunger of a Wraith. Many Lanteans tried and all of them failed, the Wraith on the other hand kept calm and above all pain, observing his enemies and telling all weakness he could find to his brethren through the very link of minds the Lanteans sought to infiltrate.

"And so the Lanteans kept him and kept experimenting until he was shortly before death and they were almost brought to their knees by our forces. It was then that they decided that to gain what they were wanting they would have to feed him, so they stole a human from a nearby planted and threw him into the Wraith' cell. Yet when they came back the next morning the human was still alive and it was the same for the next day and the next and then one day the human was still there but the Wraith was dead. And they killed the human themselves so no one would ever hear how they had not been able to break what has once been their lowly lab animal. But the Wraith' kin still knew, in the hives above the city they eased his passing with all the peace their minds could offer one who was burning alive and finally watched as Atlantis sunk to the ocean ground as the Lanteans fled, a worthy tomb for their brother." He looked around the room, nodding to himself in a way that told John he agreed: The town of the defeated enemy was a worthy tomb indeed.

The colonel considered the Wraith in their hands. "Would _you_ feed now, if we had someone to offer you?"

Todd gave him a shark's grin. "If I do not answer, would you try to find out by sending someone into my cell?"

"So you would!" John scoffed. He wasn't prepared for the tired gaze Todd cast on him. It looked utterly wrong on the Wraith, almost worse than what he'd looked like when they first met.

"I am far, far away from my home galaxy, too far for any other's mind to reach me. All you would see is a black void where other Wraith should be. I can't betray them when I am alone. No, all that is left for me is to live on until maybe one day I can go back."

Like he had done back then in the Genii prison, John suddenly realised. Just live on until better days will come. Yet it did not look good for Todd. Especially not with this test result. After another while of stretched silence Sheppard stood and upon discovering that his body still ached yet was functioning just fine, he motioned for Todd to stand as well. "Come on, I'll bring you back. There's nothing to be gained here if your little story is true." He didn't doubt it. Not after feeling _that_ pain. It was worse than being fed upon.

"There could be something gained if you reprogrammed the machine to be a medium rather than a drill," Todd hesitantly suggested as they walked back towards his holding cell, a lot less cocky than before and ignoring all the people around them. They were just flashes of life at the edges of John's mind and with a jolt he realized what those strange beacons he'd seen in Todd's mind had been. The people in the lab. Their lives were the water to extinguish the flames. And he remembered how he had wanted them, how it hurt that he could not have them.

He felt sick for several reasons at once. One for craving them, even if it had only been through Todd's mind and two because he could now see what they were doing to the Wraith, leading him through the city like this. In his cell he was quite isolated, but here, right now, they were practically dangling all the food he could ever want right before his starving nose, yet he would never have it and knew that. John suddenly felt a lot closer to Kolya and that was another reason to make him want to puke. And then he wanted to puke because he felt so helpless, it disgusted him. Because he could do nothing, what the Wraith needed were still people.

He sped up, leading the little group faster. "You mean: make it passive so you have control about what we see and can keep the... burning away from us?" he finally said to answer Todd' half-statement/half-question.

"Yes." And the "s" in the word was drawn out to convey Todd's satisfaction about Sheppard's understanding.

"Don't know if the IOA will think of this as useful, they want some leverage on you guys, not limited intel."

"Surely they would not deem a better understanding between our species completely useless?"

"What could you tell me mentally that you could not tell me in words?" John asked. They had reached the cell and he stopped to let Todd walk past him and in there. The Wraith looked over his shoulder.

"That which you would classify as my name, for example." With that he marched on to sit on the sparse bed and ignore Sheppard in favour of doing what the colonel would loosely call meditating.

"So when they always just stared at us when we asked for their name they actually answered but we just weren't able to hear it?" Rodney asked before biting into his sandwich. John only poked at his food. He knew it was stupid but right now he didn't feel like eating.

"That or they just couldn't be bothered to explain to us that there would be no use in telling us." He finally took a bite of his lunch.

"I believe in Sheppard's theory." Ronon dug into his food with as much enthusiasm as Rodney.

Teyla stepped up to them before they could say much more, carrying Torren on her hip. "So how did your experiment go?" she asked, giving a cookie to the child that commanded all the attention the greedy anthropologists and similar people left, who came in day in and day out to ask Teyla questions about life in Pegasus.

"Not so good. Sheppard got quite the painful ride." McKay only hesitated a moment before returning to eating again, frowning though while he chewed.

"Painful?" she asked, looking at John in worry.

"I'm fine. Was just caught a bit off guard 'cause Todd wasn't kidding when saying Wraith hunger feels like fire." Shrugging, John started eating again as well, if only to dispel her worries.

"He shared that with you?" Teyla looked surprised.

"Didn't have much of a choice, I think. He kept calling the machine a 'drill'. Why, you think he wouldn't put us through that for his amusement?"

"When aboard the Hive as his queen I was part of the hive-sense and no Wraith ever let their hunger burn through it. Though even if Todd hadn't explained the current... food-shortage to me, I could see they weren't that well fed at all. I asked him if they could sense the others' state of hunger at all or if the reason why they did not discover that I wasn't hungry is that they cannot. He told me they think I am strong for never showing hunger, because losing control over that fire is deemed weakness and no Wraith would ever dare admit to it. They keep it to themselves, for their ability to endure it is what makes them Wraith." She inclined her head, showing that despite all her negative emotions towards the Wraith she could still respect their idea of self.

"Todd said basically the same to us. Come to think of it, anything else interesting 'bout that hive-sense?" He had given up on finding a better name. "'Cause he also said it would allow us to know his name or something."

"I do know how they recognize each other but I do not know any actual names as we would define them. Either he managed to keep that secret somehow, I am quite sure he interfered much I could have otherwise seen. Or maybe they really have no names as per our definition. I would not know."

John leaned back in his seat. "Well, guess I'm gonna see for myself once McKay reprogrammed that thing."

"You think the IOA will allow us to continue?" McKay asked.

"They don't need to know Todd has some control over what we see, just tell them it works though the machine doesn't work as efficiently as it could, you need some time to recalibrate it for better intel, blah blah. Just include lot's of complicated words to throw them off." He made a vague movement with his hand.

"Why are we putting so much energy in keeping the Wraith from them?" Ronon demanded to know, annoyed.

"Because we might need him again and I feel like I owe the bastard."

"No valid reasons to me. No one needs live Wraith. Dead ones are the good ones."

"I agree with you when it comes to every Wraith but that one. Just think about how many more ZPM's he could be hiding or something."

Ronon still didn't seem happy but at last he growled: "Fine but he'll stay prisoner, not friend."

"No one's gonna let him out of his shackles," John calmed him, slightly exasperated.

It took McKay a while to reprogramme the machine. When he finally managed, John waited until evening, when the corridors where more empty, to escort the Wraith to the lab. He told himself it was so not so many people would see Todd and fuel the rumour mill about the alien that had cooked up after the last time they marched him through the city.

Todd looked like he always did and behaved normally, though looking closely his shaggy mane of white hair seemed to have lost what shine it ever had and the veins beneath his skin seemed more prominent, his cheekbones, too. Teyla said she had been able to see that the Wraith' crew hasn't been that well fed. Was it things like this that showed it? Or was it a lack of shower and sunshine that left the Wraith looking even more... _frazzled_ than usual? But if he were to ask Todd, the Wraith would probably just snarl at him, so he didn't.

They reached the lab in silence and Todd sat on the edge of the table again while John grimaced and sat down in the chair. He really hoped this would work better than last time. And it seemed he was lucky because when McKay powered things up he didn't feel any different. Most importantly, he didn't feel any burning pain. But wasn't there supposed to be _something_ now?

"You're not supposed to shut him out _completely_ , you know!?" KcKay told Todd, either to distracted by the machine to care, or feeling secure enough behind it's bulk to snap at the Wraith.

"Just taking it slow, in case your reprogramming did not work as was planned," Todd answered as sweetly as a Wraith could. It seemed he knew other ways of putting McKay in his place than simply letting his predator characteristics scare the man. McKay for his part spluttered, obviously not prepared for this kind of mocking from Todd.

"Be nice to the science guy, Todd, he's just trying to make this work," John quipped. _For your own good_ was left unsaid, but he was pretty sure Todd could pick it up. He was not prepared to feel a wave of annoyance swap over him. Followed by smugness when he jumped a little in surprise. "Yeah don't warn me, very funny!" he grouched.

The smugness turned into amusement. A friendly kind of amusement to John's surprise. Kind of like what he felt when bantering with his friends, though not as bold as that. Todd was reluctant and it took him a moment to realised that he could actually feel that, too. He looked at the Wraith in dumb wonderment, feeling Todd's amusement renew at that. There was also curiosity mixed in with it all.

"No wonder you guys are so rigid most of the time, you don't really need body language, do you?" he asked, feeling a little more secure now that he was getting used to it.

_We are indeed not as outwardly expressive as your people like to be._

John jumped again and this time actually heard Todd's chuckle echo through his head. "Now that is kind of creepy. Do you ever speak aloud on hive ships when there are no humans aboard?"

_There are always humans aboard hive ships._ AndJohn felt that Todd was not trying to aggravate him, he was trying to keep him on his toes and alert, trying to make him think before speaking.

Without this connection he would have probably snapped at the Wraith or used a lot more sarcasm. Now he just calmly clarified: "I mean humans that are not food or worshippers."

_Sometimes, yes. Mostly when aggravated we will return to the ways of speaking aloud and conveying our emotional status with our body's language._

"In other words, you like to throw bitch-fits?" he chuckled. Todd hissed and narrowed his eyes.

_I fail to see where our ways of anger differ from yours and why you think you can ridicule them._

Annoyance hit John, as well as doubt about this whole experiment at all. He could feel Todd withdraw some. He leaped after the other's consciousness without thinking about it.

Todd sat up a little straighter, portraying first surprise then acceptance of the subconscious apology John had launched. John for his part was surprised as well, first at his urge to apologize, then at the fact that it had reached Todd. While McKay asked "Sheppard, what just happened?" as he stared at his screens, John huffed and uttered a perplexed _So this works both ways?_ He blinked when he didn't hear himself speak yet still someone gave an answer to his silent statement.

_It seems so_ , Todd spoke up in his head. It flabbergasted John that the Wraith didn't seem to have any objections to the fact that not only could Sheppard read Todd's thoughts but could also transmit his own into the Wraith' head. He must have transmitted that feeling as well because Todd cocked his head to the side, contemplating before answering. _I do not mind because it is a natural state for me to have the consciousness of another so close to mine. If I do not want to hear you I will shut you out, but for now I am content to indulge you._

John once again ignored the questions of McKay and Ronon floating around him, his eyes fixed on Todd's reptilian ones and all his attention on the aliens mind. _It's the loneliness, isn't it?_ he suddenly asked, trying to grasp that feeling that Todd kept out of his reach. Todd shrunk back at John's epiphany, beginning to pull up walls. _You're so used to having the minds of other Wraith around you, it drives you crazy to be completely alone in your head. That's why you agreed to this. You want this emptiness gone, you don't care about buying time because-_ he stopped.

_Because there's not enough left, anyway_ , Todd mercilessly ended his thought for him.

John stared at him. _How long?_ he demanded to know. _How long?!_

_A couple of days, perhaps. Not an entire week._ The Wraith shrugged his still squared shoulders once, not giving a single clue of his resignation to everyone else in the room.

"Shit!" John cursed aloud. "Damn you-" And would have said some more had Todd not laughed.

_Throwing a_ bitch-fit _, John Sheppard?_ And he drew out the name in that way of his.

"This it not funny!"

_You seemed to think it was._

He just stared at the Wraith for a moment, then leaned forward in the chair, disconnecting them. "This is pointless, bring him back to his cell!"

"But-" Rodney started, confused.

"Bring him back, I just need some time to-..." Think about what to do with the Wraith now. Feeding him, shooting him to shorten the suffering, putting him in a stasis pod and so many more plans went around his head in a chaos, the only clear thing the question why he even cared.

Then Ronon walked past him, guiding the Wraith with his pistol drawn and as he watched them go it occurred to Sheppard that he had never asked for Todd's real name after all.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to the awesome AAEdmonds (FFN), she beta-ed the story from now on and really put a lot of work into this and should be worshipped.

The Wraith had laid down.

A simple action that confused the guards to no end. The alien had never before made use of the sparse bed within his cell other than to sit on it in that tranquil, complete stillness which never failed to unnerve even the most hardened of officers. Even now, he did not truly _use_ it for he did not sleep. But, on this night, he had laid down. On his back, feet next to each other and with his hands folded on his torso. His white, unruly hair fanned out beside his head as if it were a halo. His eyes were closed, his breathing a slow, steady pace. The sight was eerily familiar of a human in a coffin. The guards didn't know why he had assumed the position, but they did know that it put them at great unease, to the point where they agreed to face any wrath by calling Colonel Sheppard down to the cells.

The Colonel had arrived surprisingly fast despite the late, or rather early, hour called three AM. Sheppard hesitated several tense moments outside of Todd's cell before walking in, appearing to be gathering his thoughts or gathering bravery, one could not tell. As he sauntered into Todd's cell, all apprehension was gone from his face and he was expressing a sickeningly cheerful demeanor. "Hey Todd! You uh, still alive there?" It sounded mocking, but the guards couldn't shake the feeling that there was something serious behind the question. They looked into Todd's cell and back to each other as if it would all become suddenly clear.

"What is it that you require, Sheppard?" came a most annoyed voice.

"Hey hey hey, no need to be so snappy, I just came to check on you!" John put his palms up in the air, but the Wraith missed Sheppard rolling his eyes.

"You are wasting your time as well as my own. You are aware of how this...situation is, and how it will proceed. Unless, something has changed, I request that I be left alone."

"Well...I got some bad news for you. It doesn't look like Atlantis will ever be allowed to go back to Pegasus..." He didn't know what else to say and he hadn't meant for it to come out sounding like an apology. Todd's fate was not his responsibility, he had no reason to apologize, he should not even feel the need to apologize and what's more, he didn't know if the sentiment would even mean anything to someone like Todd and yet...

The Wraith opened his eyes, yellow orbs with their black slits constricting in the light, staring at the ceiling like he could look through it to everything beyond it, past the sky and into the universe around them. "It will never return?" The query came quietly.  
"Yup. Your fellow Wraith buddies can now roam around without us pissing them off at every turn." Did he just try to cheer Todd up or worse, console him? It must have been a horrible attempt, for Todd only sighed, his breath rattling in his throat.  
"This... turn of events can only lead to bad tidings, I am sure of it..."

That response shook John, as well as the guards outside the cell. John dared to take a step closer, clearing his throat, "Why do you say that?" Now John was just as concerned as the guards as to the Wraith's behaviour.

Todd sighed once more and said, "There are far too many of us, and you, while unknowingly, recklessly woke all of us at once. Long ago, the Queens of the Lantean War bore offspring without regard for the future, the only thought that drifted through their conceited minds was that they needed to increase the number of Wraith to win the War. When the War finally had been won, it was discovered that the Galaxy could not support such large numbers. Being reluctant to kill their own, even the lowly drone warriors, it was decided amongst the Queens to have all Hives and their crews go into a state of long hibernations, each guarded by a Keeper. The benefit was that the Hives would wake in intervals, letting the human populations in each faction's territory to grow to a number large enough to sustain a feeding. But...you woke them, long before their time and! **all** at once! So now, they are forced to tear each other apart over the sparse resources!" Todd wasn't shouting, but he might as well have been. The angry hiss in the Wraith's voice drove home what he though about this very well. "To make it worse, the Hoffan disease **you** and your people helped create has made it so even the meager resources left are a gamble between life and a tortuous death!" he finally growled out, then forcibly calmed back down, refusing to lose his composure any further. After taking a deep breath he turned back towards the ceiling, "My alliance is now not only Queenless, but also without its Commander. I have utmost confidence in them, I had chosen each of my sub-Commanders with due care. But still, they will be the first to be torn apart. Eradicated. Destroyed. They are young and cannot coordinate their tactics or re-formulate plans faster than those who are set in the old ways, those who lived in the time of the Lantean War, those who were bred for war, conquering and destruction. It will be those Wraith that will be upon them and thus, be the downfall of my Alliance." He slowly turned his head back towards Sheppard, giving him a bitter smile with lips pulled back so much that the points of his needle-like teeth glinted in the fluorescent lighting. His tone was just as sour as the smile, "They are the **only** ones who would have ever had any potential to change, to accept whatever "cure" your doctors would have created, unique Wraith that sought a different, promising future. The ones who followed and relied on a fool such as myself. I do not mourn _my_ fate." He turned back to staring at the ceiling, golden stare piercing the concrete, "But I do mourn theirs."

"And I mourn the new friends we made and who are now without protection," said John even though his tongue felt heavy and dry. Todd would not take well to pity but maybe shared misery would do some good. He would never feel guilty about trying to fight the Wraith with the Hoffan vaccination but he could understand the anger about ones people suffering and being killed off. Somewhere behind all his hatred he did know that the Wraith had no choice but to feed, if they wanted to survive. The hatred was about the arrogance and cruelty most of them showed.

Against his better judgement, the Colonel sat heavily on the simple chair in the cell. Sighing, he dragged a hand through his hair and watched Todd watching the ceiling, a knot in his stomach. He tried to push all thoughts about the galaxy' and inhabitants' (no matter who they be) fate aside, but didn't mind the contemplating silence that had fallen upon them. Until the way in which the Wraith kept looking at the grey expanse above their heads had given him an idea and he rose to his feet again.  
"Hey, Todd, get your ass up. C'mon." He paused, waiting, while Todd just gave him the look of someone who was torn between laughing and tearing out your throat. "You _can_ still get your ass up, right?" In lieu of a verbal response Todd simply growled and glowered, but he rose to his feet. The motion was no less graceful than usual, but much slower. The Colonel couldn't tell if it was caution because of the guards or a lack of energy. He hoped the former as he had no fix for the latter.

"And what is it you want now, Sheppard?" At first it seemed Todd had decided to humour John just out of boredom. However, to John's surprise, there were faint layers of curiosity, maybe even excitement that trickled through Todd's demeanor, but ever so slightly. John wondered if having had a glimpse at the Wraith's mind had made it easier to read him.

"We are going for a walk." He nodded to himself, hands on his hips in determination.

"To where, exactly?" There was caution in the multi-layered tone and John could not blame him. Todd knew the IOA wanted him and he'd probably rather attack the guards and be shot to death than follow John if there was even so much as a hint that the IOA were involved in this little venture.

The Colonel grinned. "You like the night sky a lot, don't you?"

The Wraith visibly perked up and slowly turned towards John, "You would take me...outside?" The not quite hidden eagerness in his voice left a small, unexpected lump in John's throat which he swallowed quickly. He had once wondered if the probably decades long captivity at the hands of the Genii had left some marks, both physical and mental, on Todd, but seeing the Wraith act perfectly unperturbed, graceful even, when he was forced into a cell on Atlantis had erased that notion quickly. Yet now he wondered again, silently trying to probe if Todd had simply clamped down on any claustrophobic reactions as fiercely as he kept the hunger pains to himself.

He shook a finger at the Wraith, enjoying the irony of reprimanding a creature so much older in this parental way. "Only to the nearest balcony, though. And obviously, due to regulations, we will have to keep you chained up." John expected protest, perhaps even something along the lines of "Are you so afraid of an almost dead Wraith getting the better of you?" but Todd only nodded his shaggy head once. "That is...acceptable."  
Sheppard left Todd's cell, returning with the heavy leather cuffs several moments later. It was odd to put them on Todd himself, usually one of the guards would be doing it, however they were busy trying to talk Sheppard out of taking Todd out of his cell without offending rank, uttering things like "Sir, shouldn't we inform Mr. Woolsey?" or "Sir, didn't you tell us that the Wraith are not to be trusted?" Sheppard blew them off, waving his hand and brazenly saying, "This one knows how to behave himself" and adding a grunt as he pulled the last piece of leather taught, buckling it. Todd huffed a laugh but remained completely still while the Colonel finished securing the restraints.

Sheppard borrowed a P-90 from one of the guards and marched Todd out of the room. It was stupid and someone higher ranked would probably chew him out later in the day, hell he may even get a court martial, but he felt oddly indifferent about receiving punishment for this. Ever since Atlantis had been grounded on Earth, he'd been restless and longed to get back to the Pegasus Galaxy. Life there was not always pleasant, sometimes it was incredibly hard, a living hell even, but it had given him a sense of purpose like he'd never felt before. Helping the people, discovering new technology, sharing stories and laughing with his team in the cafeteria, flying the puddle jumpers, the feeling of being one with the mechanisms of the ancient city in that chair, and being the first to see and experience new, incredible things... Earth paled in comparison. It seemed so small when compared to that galaxy and what he had seen of it. He believed the best decision of his life was made in that chopper, flying O'Neill back to McMurdo all those years ago. There wasn't much on this rock that could hold him, there never really had been. He wanted Pegasus, he felt like he truly _belonged_ there.

And he was certain that if he felt like this after only a handful of years there, then dollars to donuts Todd craved his home galaxy with an intensity that was as burning hot as the hunger-fire within him. The Wraith had been there for thousands of years, he must have seen so much, experienced so many things. In a way John envied him for that. He wasn't sure he would want to live forever but he was sure it must be incredible to be able to see all of Pegasus if he so chose. He had seen true curiosity in Todd, even after all his years and he was sure that if this Wraith did not feel any responsibility toward his fellow Wraith, he would roam the galaxy for all its secrets. Who knew, maybe such a thing had been the goal of this patient creature all along. To bring peace, so he could go off and explore with a clear conscience and have no enemies in his way.

But even if John were as ageless as a Wraith, he would never find out if that was the ultimate plan, simply because Todd was going to die, sooner than later. The last thing this Wraith could discover was how the stars appeared in this far away galaxy and John would be damned if he couldn't give that to him. It had been because of Todd and his secret ZPM stash that saved their asses from the super-Hive and in the end, it would be Todd who would ultimately pay the price for their survival with his own life. All because of bureaucratic bullshit. Even if John didn't care, he would still owe this to this strange ally.

And he knew he'd done the right thing when Todd stepped out onto the balcony and took in a deep breath of the cool night air, inhaling slowly, relishing it, savouring it. His eyes, that had gone somewhat dull during his confinement in the cell, brightened and he looked up, taking in the stars. White hair gently swaying in a breeze was the only thing moving as he stood there and John watched as something like peace settled on the Wraith' features. He smiled and followed Todd's example, found himself grateful for the clear sky as he regarded the millions of tiny lights that dotted the darkness. Every once in a while John would gesture at a certain point of light or a cluster of lights, naming it off for the Wraith. Todd grunted in appreciation and gave a hint of a smile each time. Then they would fall silent again. So many stars. So many worlds. So many fates.

They stood there until they witnessed the sunrise, at which a squad of Marines followed by a frantic Woolsey burst out on to the balcony. The latter began lecturing Sheppard on proper procedures in situations like this while the Marines none-too-gently herded Todd back to his cell. But the Colonel tuned Woolsey out, not even pretending to listen to his by-the-book banter. His attention was elsewhere. His focus was on Todd, lips were pressed into a thin line, brow furrowed, and his finger even gently touched the trigger of the borrowed P-90, Colonel Sumner and thoughts of a coup de grace on his mind.

For Todd had swayed and stumbled and was leaning against a wall for support. And it wasn't the Wraith's unexpected movement that had brought his finger to the trigger but the look in his eyes that said he wouldn't actually mind a bullet to the head, before straightening again to his grandeur poise to be led on back to his cell as if the moment of weakness had never happened. As if he wasn't starving to death and his time was short before his final fall.

John cursed under his breath.

* * *


	3. Chapter 3

"Attention, Colonel Sheppard requested immediately in the Brig. Repeat- Attention, Colonel Sheppard requested immediately in the Brig!"

John swallowed the last bite of what passed as food in the mess hall and tapped his earpiece. "This is Sheppard, what's going on?"

"Sir, I think the Wraith is...well, is dying."

"He's been dying since it was known to him Atlantis wouldn't be making the damned return trip to the Pegasus!" Instantly Sheppard felt a stab of guilt for snapping so harshly at the young Marine who couldn't change the whole situation any more than he could, which frustrated him even moreso. It was certainly most unbecoming, especially as a superior officer, to take his anger regarding Todd's quandary out on the man. John rubbed his temples, both in a vain attempt to ward off the migraine he knew was coming and trying to contemplate the best way to give an apology without losing face. However, it seemed the Marine had thicker skin than John had assumed as the outburst was ignored completely.

"I realize that, sir. What I mean is, well, it appears as if he is taking his actual, literal last breaths."

"What?!" John had subconsciously dreaded this moment and he had no idea what the hell to do about it. He ran from the mess hall as if the devil were on his heels, instantly calculating the quicker route to the brig while hoping that no distracted scientists stepped into the hallway in front of him because there was no way he would be able to stop. Yet even as he raced towards the brig, something inside of him screamed bloody murder for him to just turn around, lock himself up in his room and ignore what was going on.

Sheppard's earpiece came to life once more, "Sir? You know how bugs turn on their back and pull their legs in when they die?" the Marine's explanation continued, even though John's last exclamation hadn't exactly been a call for any elaboration. "Well sir, he's not doing that exactly, he's more laying on his side with his arms and legs drawn in, kind of like a fetus, but I still can't shake the feeling that it's basically the same thing..."

"I'm almost there!" The transporter doors barely had time to open as John squeezed through them and shot towards the brig door, not stopping to listen if the Marine had any further observations, he simply brushed past him and burst into the cell. On the bed against the far wall, Todd the Wraith lay. He had indeed curled up on his side and that stopped John dead in his tracks, leaving him briefly frozen both in motion and thought as the sight just seemed so impossible. John had never imagined seeing a Wraith like that, least of all Todd. He steadily crept forward, his eyes certainly seeing but his brain not quite able to process the situation, his pounding heartbeat thundering in his ears not even registering.

Todd lay on his left side facing the door, his head nestled into the palm of his left hand while his feeding hand lay balled up in a loose fist close to his mouth. His eyes were closed, and John nearly panicked believing death had come for the Wraith prior to his arrival if it weren't for a tiny white lock of hair that moved ever so gently following an exhale. His elbows were tightly tucked towards his torso, his knees bent sharply and were drawn up too, but not touching his chest as his arms were in the way. Yet it didn't seem that pain or suffering had caused this position. The Wraith's face expressed nothing but serenity and peace and that was probably why, despite having curled his towering, proud form into such a remarkably small ball, Todd did not look pathetic or feeble at all. The eerily calm expression on his face gave the impression that he had simply finished a full cycle, that he had gone from his birth to the closest thing to a natural death a Wraith could experience.

"John Sheppard..." John jumped as Todd rasped, once sharp, yellow eyes slowly opening to reveal that they were cloudy and staring into nothing at all. John's mouth opened but he could not form words, shock and distress coloring his features as a quiet, "Uh..." left him. A rusty chuckle met John's reaction and the Wraith continued, everything but mouth still as if frozen in time. "Friend and food, both there, both there. Does this make it easier or harder, I wonder? No, I cannot decide. I used to be able to decide, conclude, determine, so much so often...but now, now no more, now no more..."

There was something seeping into Todd's voice that Sheppard really didn't like. It was an absent-mindedness, a delirium even. It whispered that death was stalking in slowly, beginning by dismantling that old and cunning mind. John tried in vain to ignore it.

But what was even worse was the noun that Todd had used to describe him. He simply could not ignore _that_ , after it left Todd's lips it hit John like a kick to the stomach, wherein it remained as a heavy stone in his gut. It could not be, how could the Wraith believe that? Especially right now, as John just sat by allowing Todd to slowly succumb to starvation? How could a _friend_ sit idly by and allow for such a transgression to occur?

"I..." John was truly at a loss. What could he do now? What could he say?

"But one final decision, perhaps?" Todd talked on like Sheppard had never attempted to speak. "Could I decide to pass wearing my own clothing?" His feeding hand slowly moved to pluck at the cuff of the grey jump suit that he had been forced to wear, no one trusting that all of his weaponry and possible weaponry could be entirely removed from the clever Wraith's attire. "These are so very human, but I am Wraith. I am Wraith..."

And a Wraith will always die as Wraith and Wraith only, never as anything less.

John swallowed with difficulty, the atmosphere in the cell felt oppressing as the moment he'd been dreading seemed to finally have come.

"I'll get them, I'll be right back, you just wait a minute, I'll be right back..." He darted out of the brig, towards the storage room down the hall where Todd's clothing had been kept. Briefly John wondered if he would find the Wraith dead upon his return, that perhaps Todd had made his last decision deeming that the absence of a friend during his passing would be more bearable than food so close to him when he was starving to death.

As he stepped back into the brig, John was once again frozen in thought and motion as Todd unfolded his curled up body, rising to his feet in an oddly mechanic yet fluid motion that had John step back at the last moment, the hair on his neck up. The scene looked like a body rising out of nothing but its owner's sheer stubbornness, a marionette pulled up by strings made from the strength of mind only. The Colonel had a feeling that the latter explained it perfectly. Todd put every zombie, mummy and even every ghost to shame as he slowly held his hand out in a way that might as well be beckoning for John's soul, rather than his what-they-hoped-was-livestock-leather coat. Eyes that appeared to have seen nothing mere minutes ago now had focus and clarity that bore straight through John's head as their eyes met, and the fact that Todd was one of the deadliest creatures mankind had encountered had never before been so crystal clear to him.

Standing tall, proud and ever stoic when he should not, when he could not, when it was nigh _impossible,_ Todd gently took his clothing from Sheppard's outstretched arms. The Colonel saw fit to give the Wraith at least a small amount of privacy by turning his back to him. He felt a prickling sensation on the back of his neck and all instincts screamed at him not to turn his back to a hungry Wraith but he needed a moment to ground himself and that was best possible when not looking at the eerie picture that had him want to bolt like a spooked horse.

After a few tense moments there was a rustling behind him and finally a quiet, "I give my thanks to you, John Sheppard."

When John turned back around Todd had already, with alien quickness and unsettlingly quietness, curled up on the bed again, as if he had never risen to fulfil the last task he had set out for himself. John took several steps towards bed, watching the Wraith close his weary eyes, "You're welcome." John was barely able to get the words out but he truly meant it. It was all he could do.

"Sheppard!" The Colonel's brain did not register McKay over his earpiece, he was too busy watching as Todd took one more breath and then one more. Each exhale was growing agonizingly slower and the time before each inhale was growing longer, so much so that John was certain each breath was the last even if he couldn't bring himself to hope that it finally would be. His hand had drifted to the butt of his pistol, finger resting at the side of the trigger for several minutes, perhaps longer. He could put an end to this needless suffering but he selfishly wanted Todd to live. He could not accept that it was over already, he simply refused to accept it. Always trying to save everyone and everything. Bits of memories from Afghanistan flitted into his thoughts briefly before more solid memories from the many missions in Pegasus. Suddenly he felt the need to turn the barrel of his pistol towards himself for his inability to bring everyone home that had gone out with him.

"Sheppard?" "

"Sheppard!"

"JOHN!"

"WHAT?!" he snapped, his hand clamped on his gun, with one half of his brain still wondering how in the hell the death of one Wraith could bring such inner turmoil like it had while the other half told him that there were still people that relied on him, even needed him, such as the obnoxious scientist screaming in his ear.

"John! She's going back! The city will be cleared to lift off within the next day!" McKay's overly-caffeinated gleeful excitement had clashed so heavily with his pensive and somber mood it left him dazzled and confused for a moment. "Wait...what?"

"Atlantis is going back to Pegasus! In less than. Twenty. Four. HOURS! Start packing, Colonel!"

The familiar, exasperated tone drove it home. For a brief moment he was flooded with as much enthusiasm as McKay had been. Until he remembered where he was. At the side of yet another friend in their death bed.

"McKay! I need you to get a stasis pod ready, RIGHT NOW!"

"Huh? Wha-"

Sheppard had to drive it home to the astrophysicist hard and fast, "If Atlantis goes back Todd goes with us, his chance of survival goes from zero at the hands of the bastards of the IOA to whatever we NEED to do to help! Get that pod ready YESTERDAY, McKay!"

He knew that McKay understood the harshness in his tone near the end of the order required the utmost urgency and was nothing to balk at, so Sheppard wasted no time waiting for a response from Rodney as he shook the Wraith's shoulder with one hand while tapping is earpiece with his other, switching it to city-wide, not having the patience to go through various channels to get what was needed. He spoke as quick as he could without jumbling the words, "Attention! This is Colonel Sheppard, I Doctors Beckett and Keller to the stasis room right now! I repeat, I need Doctors Beckett and Keller in the stasis chamber room, not STAT, NOW!" In mere moments, thoughts that had been hopelessly jumbled were instantaneously crystal clear again. He had a task, he had a very real chance to save someone and damned if he would let it slip through his fingers. "Todd! Todd, come on! Did you hear? Atlantis is going back to Pegasus! You're going home, you've just have to stay with me and make it to a stasis pod, come on now!"

Todd neither moved nor reacted in any way that showed he was conscious. A slow, raggedy breath told John that the Wraith still lived but by how much he was unsure. "Come **on**!" He rolled Todd onto his back and shook him as his voice raised, refusing to sound pleading and refusing to accept that the Wraith's time was up. Todd had just managed to put his clothes back on so he could get to the stasis chamber room, right? Or...did that action truly burn what energy he had left? He cursed at the vain Wraith. "Just to the damn stasis pod, get up and get your green ass moving!"

There was still no reaction and he was about to tap his radio and order a stretcher to the brig when Todd's lips barely parted, "It is too late, John Sheppard. You may give that which is left of me to the stars..." It was barely a whisper, and it hit John like a bucket of freezing cold water, almost annihilating the little fire of hope that had sparked within him. Almost.

"Oh, no! The hell we will!" He didn't have the slightest clue concerning Wraith burial rituals, if there were even such things among a race that seemed eternal, but his gut told him that Todd's words where equivalent to, "You can now throw me into the pit that is to be my grave."

He knelt next to the bed and pulled at his shirt, the collar ripping open and two buttons flew off in opposite directions as Todd shakily exhaled one last time. "You are gonna make it, do you hear me? You will make it and you will owe me a damn lot, you remember what I told you? _We don't leave people behind_ , Todd! You will help us make Pegasus a better place!" He grabbed the Wraith's feeding hand. "Ten years, Todd, ten years! Maybe fifteen. And you're gonna give them back, you hear me! Todd, dammit!" But waiting for an answer was wasting precious little time. He turned to the guards that had rushed in as he had knelt by the bed and grabbed the Wraith's hand. "If I look more than fifteen years older and he doesn't stop shoot him, but not before that, do you understand? That's a _direct order,_ Marines!"

"But sir-"

Their protests mingled with his own scream and the roar of a feeding Wraith.

A cacophony of sound and pain whirled around him like a hurricane, threatening to kill him. In some ways it was worse than the hunger pain he had experienced in Todd's mind but in other ways it paled in comparison against that burning. And then, as soon as it began, it was over. He was suddenly aware that he was panting and crumbling from his knees down to all fours, but the hand that he had pressed to his chest yanked out of his loose grip and grabbed his shoulder to hold him up. As his gaze shifted up again, yellow, reptile eyes found his and looked at him with so much confusion, he laughed. It was a weak, raspy sound but it confused Todd even more so and that made it even better. "You're the one who called me friend first, now deal with the consequences!" he managed to croak out to the bewildered alien.

The Wraith cocked his head to the side, then, slowly, a familiar and even welcomed at this point, sharp-toothed, predatory grin spreading on his face. "Did I now? I must have been...delusional."

"Maybe. Does that mean you take it back?" For a moment, John dreaded the answer, fearing that he had fallen into a trap, had fallen for the deceptions of an ancient creature that thought compassion was a weakness to be exploited and had expertly maneuvered him right where it wanted him.

Todd let go of his shoulder and stood, looming over Sheppard's kneeling form as rifles clicked and were readied for fire. He held out his right hand, a gesture completely innocent coming from a human, nothing but an offer to help John up. But, the blood still on his slitted palm betrayed that innocence. This was by no means a human, this was a Wraith. One so old with a lifespan that may very well predate Earth's earliest cultures, one that now looked down at him, measuring him with the experience of at least ten thousand years.

"That depends, John Sheppard. Will you offer me the very same trust I am ready to offer you?"

John's gaze never left the Todd's, tried to judge the situation with the few years he _had_ lived. Could he trust this one?

Thoughts of all their shared encounters flew through John's mind. The first being the events in Kolya's cells. Todd had kept his word then and not killed him. The second among those ruins the Seer had warned them of. Todd had asked them to come unarmed, they had not and had taken him as their prisoner. Would following events have gone differently had they not done that? Would Todd have trusted Sheppard's word when he said they were not responsible for activating the Attero Device? Would Todd have given them his entire plan concerning Teyla as his Queen? Would he have trusted them and not misused their trust in turn?

So many ifs because of one Wraith. So many possibilities, so many outcomes.

John took a deep breath and clasped his hand firmly around the deadly one still offered by Todd. "I don't take well to betrayal."

To John's surprise, Todd carefully pulled him up, both now on the same level in an oddly symbolic way. "Nor do I."

For a moment they just looked at each other, then John grinned a devil's grin and the Wraith offered his shark like equivalent. They let go of each others hands, an agreement made.

"What direction is the stasis chamber room?" Todd asked, turning towards the door. "We must hurry. Those ten years, while much to you, are very few for this famished body."

"This way." An odd sense of déjà vu in John's aching bones had him grin despite the pain that came with the sudden ageing. This time, it was him who led the way as he grabbed Todd by the upper arm to discourage people from shooting the Wraith. What could have seemed like a chase turned into something that left people frozen in their tracks, staring, mouths dropping open in surprise and confusion as one aged John Sheppard rushed past them towing along a Wraith dressed in full battle gear who wasn't making any moves to shake the Colonel off of his arm and suck the remaining years out of him. No, the Wraith followed, the both of them seeming to have the same goal.

And Sheppard just knew Woolsey would scream himself hoarse over this.

They barged into the stasis room, scaring the doctors already there.

"What in the hell have you done?!" McKay yelled as he caught up to John's aged appearance.

"Had to give him a jump start." He pointed his thumb at Todd who had made his way to Beckett, looking over the freaked out Scot's shoulder to assess the data he was feeding to the stasis pod.

"You WHAT?!"

"I'm fine, Rodney."

"Are you sure? I should check you over..." Jennifer made to come to him but John shook his head.

"I can wait 'til you've frozen Todd, but Todd can't wait 'til you've checked me."

"He looks fine to me..." Rodney grumbled. "He's moving around, isn't he?"

"I don't give a shit about how his condition _looks,_ I swear he moved his already dead body just to put his fancy coat back on," John answered him.

"Already dead?!" Rodney squeaked.

"Sure as hell looked like it." He shuddered as Todd flashed him a grin and McKay looked like he wanted to gag. "Hey, are you done there or not?"

"We'll have to make some adjustments to the pod to account for his species, but I think he'll be just dandy..." Beckett didn't look up from his work, though he protested as Todd pushed him to the side, typing a few command lines of his own into the coding of the machine.

"Forgive me, but you are taking time I do not have. I know the needs of my species best, do I not?"

Beckett's protest died instantly and he instead leaned in, reading along as Todd typed, his early fear lost in medical curiosity and discovery. The Wraith didn't have to alter too many parameters, though. Quickly done with his work, he stepped up next to the opened pod and turned around to face Sheppard.

"I do hope I will not wake strapped down to an examination table..."

"You owe me some years, remember? You'll find your green ass on some remote planet where you can call your buddies. As soon as you've done your thing, I expect those back, or else I'll have to start charging you interest." John rolled his eyes.

Todd threw him a gaze rich with newly formed trust that still confused John, but made him nod in determination. Only then did the Wraith walk the final steps into the pod and turned to face them. His yellow eyes briefly made contact with the handful of people gathered in the room before slowly drifting shut as Todd resigned his fate once more to the humans. Beckett pressed a few keys and the stasis pod door closed, the Lantean device quickly beginning the process of cryogenically freezing a being.

_By the way, John Sheppard... I believe that a friend should know how to address a friend..._

And even before the surprise about this sudden and alarmingly direct contact of mind was over, John Sheppard knew the name of a Wraith.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am working on a little sequel to this story but I can't promise anything about when or if it will be posted, sorry. I still hope you had fun reading this :)


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